Should we mediate? I often am asked this question when I pick up the phone and speak to a prospective client. I always answer by saying that Little Falls Mediation is 100% devoted to mediation, which is one form of alternative dispute resolution. I do not litigate. Mediation fosters communication, understanding, and collaborative problem-solving, and it offers many benefits that transforms the way conflicts are resolved. Here are just some of the benefits of mediation: 

1. Preserving Relationships. One benefit of mediation is the focus on preserving relationships. Unlike an adversarial approach such as litigation, where parties are pitted against each other, mediation provides a supportive and non-confrontational environment. By promoting open dialogue, active listening, and empathy, mediation helps to build understanding and empathy between parties. This cooperative atmosphere enhances the possibility of maintaining long-term relationships. 

2.  Empowering the Parties. Mediation empowers the parties involved by giving them control over the dispute resolution process and the outcome. Unlike traditional dispute resolution methods where decisions are imposed by judges or arbitrators, mediation allows individuals to actively participate in shaping their own outcomes. The mediator acts as a neutral facilitator, guiding the conversation and assisting parties in finding mutually agreeable solutions. By giving participants a voice, mediation promotes a sense of ownership, satisfaction, and empowerment, leading to more durable and sustainable resolutions. I always tell my clients that they are the experts on their particular situation or dispute.

3. Cost-Effective Solution. In today's complex legal systems, litigation can be a lengthy and costly process. It is not uncommon for one party to pay $100,000 to his or her divorce attorney. Mediation, on the other hand, offers a cost-effective alternative. By avoiding court fees, attorney fees, and prolonged proceedings, mediation significantly reduces the financial burden associated with conflict resolution. Additionally, mediation saves valuable time by streamlining the process, allowing parties to focus on finding practical solutions rather than engaging in lengthy legal battles. This affordability and efficiency make mediation an attractive option for individuals, businesses, and organizations seeking prompt and budget-friendly resolutions.

4. Confidentiality and Privacy. Confidentiality is a critical aspect of mediation. Mediation sessions are private and confidential, ensuring that sensitive information and discussions remain protected. Parties can openly express their emotions, concerns, fears, and aspirations without the fear of public exposure or legal repercussions. This confidentiality fosters an environment of trust and openness, facilitating more honest and productive dialogue between the parties. The privacy aspect of mediation can be particularly beneficial for resolving personal, family, or business disputes where preserving reputation and maintaining confidentiality are of utmost importance.

5. Creative and Tailored Solutions. Mediation encourages creative problem-solving by allowing parties to explore a wide range of possibilities. Unlike court-imposed decisions, mediation enables parties to devise unique and tailored solutions that suit their specific needs and interests. This flexibility allows for more innovative and mutually satisfying outcomes. By brainstorming and evaluating various options, parties can reach resolutions that may not have been possible through traditional legal processes. This collaborative approach encourages win-win scenarios, where both parties feel that their concerns have been addressed.

Mediation offers numerous benefits that go beyond traditional adversarial approaches. By fostering collaboration, preserving relationships, empowering the parties, and providing cost-effective and confidential solutions, mediation transforms the way conflicts are resolved. Its emphasis on creative problem-solving and tailored outcomes ensures that the parties, and not a judge or an arbitrator, control the decision-making process.

I had the pleasure of speaking to American University's Intro to Law Class recently, led by Professor Matthew Pascocello.  As an icebreaker, we began with three role play exercises. Sandy and Al have broken up and they need to divide up their stuff, including a TV and DVD deck. Eight student volunteers participated (three Sandys, three Als, an arbitrator, and a mediator). The first role play was a negotiation with no third party, the second was an arbitration with the addition of an arbitrator, and the third was a mediation with the addition of a mediator. The purpose of the role plays is not to teach the students how to negotiate, arbitrate, or mediate, but rather to experience the differences and to understand that each process can produce a different outcome.
 
I also discuss in my remarks the differences between negotiation, mediation, arbitration, collaborative law, and litigation, as well as how to address emotion in cases that are highly charged. Last, I talk about the importance of being prepared in advance for a dispute that may arise by thinking about what method of dispute resolution should be used. Put specific language in business and employment contracts and prevent disputes from escalating by the use of interest based negotiation. Should a dispute intensify, I recommend that mediation be used to resolve and settle the dispute rather than adversarial methods.

Here is a summary of what I like to call the ladder of dispute resolution:

Mediation

• Confidential and voluntary
• A neutral mediator facilitates communication
• Use of interest-based negotiation (Fisher and Ury) includes: (1) separate the people from the problem, (2) focus on interests, not positions, (3) invent options for mutual gain,  (4) insist on objective criteria, and know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)
• The parties are empowered throughout the process to control the outcome
• Each party identifies the issues, brainstorms solutions to each issue, and evaluates each solution
• Assemble team of advisors to help as needed, such as a financial neutral/analyst, therapist, real estate appraiser, accountant, lawyer, health insurance broker
• Joint decisions are reached on each issue
• The mediator drafts an agreement based on these joint decisions
• Each party has a right to consult with an attorney throughout the process and to review the agreement
• Once signed, the agreement is binding
• Emotions are acknowledged and validated
• $-$$

 
Arbitration

• Arbitrator is an expert in a field/industry
• Parties choose an arbitrator
• Traditional courtroom rules of evidence do not apply
• Determine the rules of the arbitration
• Arbitrator makes a final binding decision
• After each party presents his/her case, arbitrator writes opinion/award
• No appeal right, even when the arbitrator makes a mistake (custody exception)
• Parties have no control over process/outcome
• $$-$$$

 
Collaborative Law

• Each party hires an attorney trained in collaborative practice
• Attorney advice is transparent
• Attorneys and clients meet all together
• Parties agree to no litigation
• Attorneys are disqualified from future litigation in this case
• Possible team with other collaborative professionals (mental health professional/financial neutral)
• Full disclosure
• Clients decide outcomes
• $$$-$$$$

Litigation

• Parties hire litigation attorneys
• Interim issues are decided in court
• Trial dates are set
• Formal discovery/expert witnesses/deadlines and cutoffs
• Rules of evidence apply
• Adversarial process
• Public (unless in Juvenile Court)
• Parties have no control over the process/outcome
• Judge makes decision/enters order
• Less detail than a negotiated settlement
• Appealable
• High psychological cost
• Can take months/years
• Use of adversarial/competitive negotiation tactics include: (1) use of threats and ultimatums, (2) apply time pressure, (3) flinch at proposals, (4) ask for more than you expect to get, and (5) provide distorted facts that are beneficial to competitor
• $$$$-$$$$$

Sooner or later, almost all of us will find ourselves trying to cope with how to manage conflict at work. At the office, we may struggle to work through high-pressure situations with people with whom we have little in common. We need a special set of strategies to calm tempers, restore order, and meet each side’s interests.

The following three strategies will help you learn how to manage conflict at work.

1. Put formal systems in place. Conflict in the workplace often arises when resentment, anger, and other negative emotions are left to fester. An accidental slight can lead into a full-blown dispute if the parties involved fail to address it explicitly. As a consequence, workplace conflict is often managed one dispute at a time, an approach that is inefficient and costly.

In recent years, organizations seeking to determine how to manage conflict at work increasingly have recognized the benefits of putting in place a formalized system for addressing conflict in the workplace. In an article in the Negotiation Briefings newsletter, Harvard Law School professors Frank E. A. Sander and Robert C. Bordone recommend that organizations engage in dispute system design—the process of diagnosing, designing, implementing, and evaluating an effective method of resolving conflicts in an organization. Those with basic experience with dispute-resolution processes such as negotiation, mediation, and arbitration, should be able to help their organization establish a dispute-resolution process.

One of the main goals of dispute system design, or DSD, should be to support low-cost, less invasive approaches to managing workplace conflict before moving on to more costly, riskier approaches. For example, an organization might encourage or require employees in conflict to engage in mediation before moving on to an arbitration hearing. In addition, write Sander and Bordone, employees should be able to tap into the dispute-resolution process at different points throughout the organization—for example, through their supervisor, an HR staff member, or some other leader—lest they avoid the system due to distrust of one person in particular.

Setting up a dispute system can be a complex process, but it will almost inevitably promote a more efficient means of managing workplace conflict than a case-by-case approach.
​
2. Promote better feedback. Workplace conflict often arises because co-workers have difficulty giving one another effective feedback, or any feedback at all. When we fail to let people know how they can improve, our frustration grows as their mistakes mount. Similarly, if we give unconstructive feedback—feedback that is vague, very negative, or too personal—we can create destructive workplace conflict.

We need to learn to give more effective feedback and teach others in our organization to deliver meaningful and useful feedback as well. People who give good feedback ask questions, stay positive, give details, and describe how the situation makes them feel, writes Program on Negotiation managing director Susan Hackley in Negotiation Briefings. Leaders also need to make it easy for people to raise concerns.

In their 2014 book Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen offer advice on accepting feedback in a constructive manner—even when the feedback isn’t delivered constructively. We all need to learn to identify personal triggers that cause us to take perceived criticism personally, for example.

3. Focus on the problem, not the people. When deciding how to manage conflict at work, try to focus on the problem rather than the personalities involved, recommends Hackley. Because conflict tends to promote competition and antagonism, you should strive to frame the situation in a positive light. For example, focus on the potential benefits to the organization if you are able to resolve the workplace conflict rather than on the potential negatives if you have difficulty doing so.

In addition, when dealing with conflict at work, remember that people tend to view conflicts quite differently, based on their individual perspective. Our perceptions of what went wrong tend to be self-serving. With each person believing he or she is “right” and the other person is “wrong,” it’s no wonder conflicts often fester in organizations.

For this reason, it’s crucial to start off your workplace conflict resolution efforts by taking a joint problem-solving approach. Ask open-ended questions and test your assumptions, advises Hackley. Make sure that each party has ample time to express his or her views without interruption.
​
When figuring out how to manage conflict at work, we need to remember the importance of exploring the deeper interests underlying the other party’s positions. When you listen closely, you will go a long way toward building trust and resolving difficult situations.

Joel and I spent the entire month of February in a little two bedroom condo that we rented by the Pacific Ocean in La Jolla Cove in San Diego, California. We worked remotely Monday through Thursdays and took Fridays to explore the area, hike, and spend time outdoors.

As soon as we touched down  in San Diego on February 1st, my phone blew up with texts. My 88 year old high energy and extroverted (and fully vaccinated) father had tested positive for Covid. He retired from his legal career at age 85 and started a new career as a journalist. Just last year he traveled alone to Israel to conduct interviews for an article he was writing for the Sarasota Herald-Tribune.  I ended up travelling by red eye from San Diego to Tampa on February 11th to visit him in a Largo, Florida hospital for a few days and meet up with my siblings Bruce and Samantha. Bruce flew in from Buffalo, N.Y. and Samantha flew in from Tenafly, N.J. Dad had a rare auto immune disease, and my siblings and I did our best to advocate for him, coordinate his care, and communicate with our stepmother who was in Sarasota. He had been warned by his doctors to avoid Covid at all costs due to the auto immune disease.

I quickly recognized that my brother, who is in sales, had the people skills we needed to navigate many of the challenges we were facing in the hospital. One day, when we took a few minutes to grab Lebanese food near the hospital, my brother put the owner of the restaurant in Largo, Florida on the phone with his friend, the owner of a Lebanese retaurant in Buffalo, New York and they chatted for quite a while.  Another night, when we grabbed dinner late one night on Super Bowl Sunday at a restaurant close to the hospital, my brother became best friends with our waiter.  And of course he quickly learned all of the first names of the hotel staff where we stayed and their children's names. My brother used these people skills as we tried to get the attention of  the various doctors treating my father, including a pulmonologist, rheumatologist, attending physician, and infectious disease doctor.

My sister, meanwhile, had an infinite amount of patience with everyone. She was also quite practical and had  brought her laptop so that we could fill out endless forms to hire an aide for my father at night.  I took on the role of information gatherer, detail person, and note taker as we tried to reach out to people who could help us and also determine next steps for our father's care on a daily basis. I recognized that we were a strong sibling team as we worked together on very little sleep.

My father was transferred from a hospital near his Sarasota home to a Largo hospital more than an hour away from his home  on February 9th. The Largo hospital had told us that they had a drug that he needed to put his auto immune disease back in remission and staff who were certified to administer the drug. Time was of the essence. Unfortunately, the hospital did not in fact have the drug. The attending doctor promised that we would have the drug by Monday, February 13th. The infusion that we thought might save his life was scheduled for 1:00 pm that day. Mary Ellen, a nurse who was trained and certified  in chemo infusion, was the nurse who was to give the infusion over a three to four hour period and monitor my father in the event he had a reaction.

The drug did not arrive, and Mary Ellen’s shift ended at 7:00 pm. No other nurses were trained and certified to give the infusion. My brother gathered the nursing supervisor, Chris, went down to the hospital pharmacy, got the attending doctor, Dr. Miller, on the phone along with the pharmacy director, and demanded in his magical way that we track down the delivery driver who had the drug. The drug finally was delivered to the hospital but there was no chemo infusion nurse to administer it. We were up in arms since this drug was the only hope to save our father's life. The drug was eventually administered the next day.

My brother then put together a plan on February 20th for an Angel medical flight to fly my father from Largo Hospital to the Cleveland Clinic. My father's rheumatologist was at the Cleveland Clinic and my father's wish for his survival was to go there. The cost was $27,000 which quickly grew to $40,000 given that he was still testing positive for Covid on February 21st.  Also, his oxygen levels were decreasing in part because his lungs were damaged by Covid. He would need to fly in an isolation pod. On February 21st, the attending doctor told us that he was suddenly declining and would not be able to fly to Cleveland Clinic. Hospice care started on February 22nd  at the Largo Hospital and he died after a couple of hours.

I've been reflecting on the past month and am in awe of watching my siblings do the very best that we could do to try to manage this terrible situation. One of the hardest parts of this story was watching our father have adverse side effects from the high levels of steroids that were part of his treatment.

I used my mediator skills of summarizing, paraphrasing, and reframing so that all of us who were on daily phone calls with nurses or doctors understood the information we were receiving. I wrote everything down and kept a file because I remember and process information best that way. We had to be zealous advocates for my father rather than take the neutral position I need to take as mediator. I was aware of the emotions that we were feeling of shock, anger, fear, grief, loss, and sadness and acknowledged them. We did not sleep well or eat much during this ordeal and we knew that we had to take care of ourselves so that we could manage this situation. 

Paul Rudd recently said that "when you lose a parent, the world is off its axis and it never rights itself..." and that is how I feel. Our mother died in 1992. We have lost both of our parents. We are devastated and life will never be the same.

​

Thanks so much to Shoutout SoCal for interviewing me about my business, Little Falls Mediation, and my career as a lawyer and mediator. I am looking forward to working remotely from southern California in a couple of weeks!

Hi Ellice (Lisa), is there something that you feel is most responsible for your success?
One factor is kindness. The other two factors are rapid response and competence. When a potential client first contacts me, he or she is typically under great stress because there is some kind of dispute that needs to be discussed. It could be that the client needs to get divorced or is a business partner having issues with the other business partner.
I always get back to people right away, even if it’s just to say that I received the text or the email or the voicemail and I will be back in touch soon.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
I started off as a lawyer, working in the executive branch at the U.S. Office of Personnel Management (OPM) and then in the U.S. Senate for Senator Ted Stevens from Alaska. Then I became a lobbyist and Washington counsel for the American Medical Association. After I had 3 kids, I trained in 2010 to be certified in the state of Virginia as a general and family mediator. I was a mediator in D.C. Courts for many years handling court referred cases in the Small Claims Division, as well as the Family and Judge in Chambers Programs as well. I started my business in 2015 and began to teach Alternative Dispute Resolution each Fall and Mediation each Spring at George Mason University’s (GMU) Antonin Scalia Law School.
When I needed help, I reached out for it. I never took a finance class in college or law school so I knew I needed a bookkeeper and accountant. My husband is a software architect and he showed me how to build a website. I joined several entrepreneur groups — Arlington Women Entrepreneurs, Mothers of N. Arlington Business Entrepreneur Network, and Women Who Mean Business. These groups are so much fun. We are all there for each other to collaborate and support each other, share our stories, have some laughs, and learn from each other.
At first, I would agree to meet with clients when I was training to be a mediator whenever the opportunity arose. If a client wanted to meet at 8 pm 45 minutes away from my home, I would do it. Later on, when I established my own business, I liked having control over my schedule. I don’t see clients at night because I know that I get the best results when clients are high energy, well rested, and not hungry. I also know that I am at my mediator best during the day and not at night.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I live in the D.C. area so there are always lots of fun places to take people. It depends on time of year. For years we belonged to a boat club so in the summer time, I would always reserve a motor boat either from the Wharf in DC or in Annapolis, Maryland and we would spend a beautiful sunny, blue sky day on the water with a picnic. I would definitely choose an itinerary tailored to a specific visitor. Most visitors love a boat ride. In the fall, I would take visitors to Shenandoah National Park (SNP), which is just 90 minutes from our home in northern Virginia. There are lots of orchards and vineyards along the way, so a beautiful waterfall hike in SNP would likely end with a little apple picking and charcuterie, as well as wine tasting on the way home. I would arrange for a tour of the Supreme Court, House, Senate, and Capitol. We would visit the National Mall/Park Service and see the beautiful Washington Monument, WWII memorial, and Lincoln Memorial, along with the Roosevelt (FDR) Memorial. If there was a great play or musical at the National Theater or Kennedy Center, I would take them there. And there is often a great outdoor concert at Nats Park or Wolftrap Center/National Park for the Performing Arts. There are many concert venues around the DC area as well, so I likely would find some great music somewhere. In the winter, we would likely watch a Buffalo Sabres/Washington Capitals game in DC at Capital One Arena and go ice skating in the Sculpture Garden at the National Gallery of Art. Last, we would walk around interesting neighborhoods such as Dupont Circle, Logan Circle, Shaw, Georgetown and visit farmers’ markets and holiday markets along the way. In the springtime, we would get up early to see the cherry blossoms around the Tidal Basin and go up to Eastern Market, a historic outdoor market open year round.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My husband, for insisting that I should start my own business. My friend C. Lee Cawley, who is a business owner herself. She was the first person I called when I was thinking about starting my business.
The group Arlington Women Entrepreneurs, founded by Karen Beauregard Bate, which expanded to become Awesome Women Entrepreneurs.
And all the other women entrepreneurs I have met along the way who have mentored me.
​
Website: www.littlefallsmediation.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littlefallsmediation/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellice-lisa-halpern-5b81726/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElliceHalpern
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/littlefallsmediation
Image Credits
Tim Coburn Photography

Wishing everyone a Happy Chanukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays! I wanted to share this great article "A Therapist's Guide to Staying Calm During Family Holidays" written by Carolyn Steber on November 17, 2022. The article was published in Bustle. 

www.bustle.com/wellness/how-to-stay-calm-during-holidays-family

​Click on the link above to read the article.

Here are the 17 tips included in the article:

1. Take note of your emotions
2. Set boundaries
3. Only show up to what you enjoy
4. Know when to leave
5. Take time to cool off
6. Take deep breaths
7. Change the topic
8. State your needs
9. Bring a plus-one
10. Stick with your allies
11. Be strategic in how you help
12. Resist unhealthy coping mechanisms
13. Focus on being nice
14. Sit back and observe
15. Get some sleep
16. Don't force it
17. Remember that you're not alone

May your holidays be filled with love and light!

"Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.” --Abraham Lincoln
​
This month we celebrated National Conflict Resolution Day on October 20, 2022. Mediation is a peaceful way of resolving conflict. I talk about what mediation is a lot to prospective clients and to current clients. Most people who contact me to explore mediation have never been part of a mediation before and are not sure what it is exactly. My job is to empower them with information so that they understand if mediation is right for them, what they can expect the mediation process to look like, what their role is, and what my role as mediator is.

What is mediation?
​Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process that empowers the parties to a dispute to (1) identify the issues, (2) brainstorm solutions to each issue, one issue at a time, (3) evaluate those solutions to that first issue by asking specific questions and reality testing, and (4) come to a joint decision on that one issue. The  parties will then decide what issue to discuss next, understanding that many issues are related to each other. They have maximum control over the process and the outcome. Mediation requires that the parties compromise, communicate, and collaborate  with each other.
 
What do you do as mediator?
My job as mediator is to ensure that the parties feel comfortable and safe. Building rapport and trust is important. Mediators also must remain neutral at all times.

I need to (1) listen carefully to each party, (2) clarify statements made and information exchanged for full understanding, (3) ask questions designed to elicit information the parties may need, (4) keep the parties on track and focused on the issues, (5) assist the parties in gathering information from each other and  identify ways to gather other needed information, (6) help the parties test and examine potential agreements,  (7) suggest when outside experts, such as tax consultants, financial neutrals, therapists, appraisers, and/or subject matter experts, may be needed,  and (8) facilitate communication and negotiation.
 
After joint decisions are reached on each identified issue, I draft an agreement that reflects those decisions.
 
What if I can't get through a mediation session because I am so upset?
Common emotions in disputes are grief, anger, and fear. Mediation is not a therapy session. But we acknowledge emotions. As a lawyer I was not trained to address emotion; as a  mediator I am. Acknowledgement empowers the parties, creates a legitimate sense of control and fairness, and creates the opportunity to restore, preserve, or enhance relationships. We validate emotions by (1) noticing the presence of emotion, (2) being present and giving all of our attention to the person who is speaking, and (3) acknowledging and naming the emotion.
 
 

I loved these messages about Rosh Hashanah from President Biden and Sheryl Sandberg. Many of my clients go through a period of reflection and renewal and look forward to a clean slate following mediation.

From President Joe Biden:
This Rosh Hashanah, Jewish communities throughout America and across the globe will celebrate the birth of the world and the beginning of a new year.
 
With the piercing sound of the shofar and the sweetness of apples dipped in honey, the Jewish New Year ushers in a sacred time of reflection, repentance, and renewal. A time to pause and look inward. During these Days of Awe, we have the opportunity to ask what kind of person we want to be and how we have measured up.
 
Just as individuals can seek renewal, so too can nations. This past year has seen encouraging progress for our nation. More Americans are securing the dignity of a good-paying job. Fewer children are living in poverty. With COVID-19 no longer the same disruptive threat it was, families can once more gather around the Rosh Hashanah dinner table and sit together in their synagogues.
 
At the same time, we have much more work to do to realize the values that bind us as Americans and to restore the soul of our nation. In the coming year, we must not only look inward, but also look to each other. We must rebuild our communities through empathy and acts of kindness, bridging the gap between the world we see and the future we seek.
 
Jill and I offer our warmest wishes to everyone celebrating Rosh Hashanah in the United States, Israel, and around the world. May your prayers be heard and your faith revitalized—and may we all be inscribed in the Book of Life. Shana Tovah.

From Sheryl Sandberg:
Rosh Hashanah reminds us of the power of new beginnings. It's a chance to reflect on the past year and to turn toward the future with hope. It’s a time to recommit to doing our part to make the world a kinder, more equal place. Regardless of faith, I hope all of us take a moment to give thanks today and try to be better to each other in the new year.
May our days ahead be sweeter, healthier, and brighter. From my family to yours, Shana Tova.​

I was delighted to accept my daughter Lisa’s invitation to be a guest blogger. In mid-May I went to Israel with four legal colleagues for a week of informal meetings with judges, lawyers, think tanks, members of the government, and opinion makers to learn about legal, political, and social matters. I  met up with my colleagues at the Newark airport on May 14th.
 
After meeting with retired Supreme Court Justice Ely Rubenstein on May 19th, I missed a step as we were leaving the Supreme Court Building in Jerusalem. I went flying into the wall and floor with my right foot splayed out perpendicular to my body. I could not move it, nor could I get up. One of my colleagues was able to help me sit up, which enabled me to slide my back against the wall.
 
From that moment I was physically unable to care for myself without help. Soon a wheelchair was procured into which I was physically lifted. Now what do I do? I called my good friend Stuart Fischman, originally from Buffalo, who made Aliyah to Israel about 20 years ago. We had made plans for lunch together with a group of his Israeli friends. 
 
“Stuart,” I said, “change of plans.” I told him what had happened, and he directed me to a clinic where he would meet me. I could do nothing on my own. My friends hailed me a taxi, lifted me into it without twisting my leg or foot, and the leader of our small mission, Steve Greenwald, went with me. He went into the clinic and found a wheelchair. It was a hard push and a long walk.
 
I pointed to a young man wearing a kippah; a head covering worn by traditional Jews. Steve asked him to push me, a stranger, to the 2nd floor clinic. He did so without hesitation and refused to accept any money. He was fulfilling a  mitzvah to help a person in need.
 
I had fractured my hip. I decided to go back to my hotel and then later was taken by ambulance to Ichilov hospital in Tel Aviv. I was there from May 19th to May 29th. I was unable to do anything to help myself or even get out of bed until the last couple of days. After some uncertainty, the doctors decided not to operate but to let normal healing to take place, as the fractured bone had not been displaced. I was totally dependent on the nurses and attendants each day.
 
My daughters, Lisa and Samantha, took over the mysteries of my travel insurance to have me flown home. This task was not easy. I had bought a travel insurance policy on my own before I left for my trip in case something went wrong. Pursuant to the provisions of my policy, I was promised 24/7 emergency assistance services.
 
But Lisa was not able to get anyone from the travel insurance company to pick up the phone or respond to emails. She and Samantha spent hours calling the company and holding on the phone each day, hoping that someone would answer, as well as emailing the company. They finally sent messages via LinkedIn to the CEO, COO, Counsel, and Executive Assistant to the CEO of the company asking for help on my behalf. Five long days after the fall, someone returned Lisa's call. Lisa used her dispute resolution skills to persuade the insurance company’s representatives to give her their personal cell numbers so that she could easily communicate with them.
 
She also persuaded the company to send a medical escort from the United States to Ichilov Hospital in Tel Aviv so that I could travel home since I had missed my flight scheduled for May 21st. This win was accomplished after many required forms were filled out by the clinic in Jerusalem and the hospital staff in Tel Aviv to convey the need for a medical escort. I was scheduled to travel from Tel Aviv to Sarasota, connecting through Newark, New Jersey. The escort was a medical doctor who helped me to pack up, check in for the flights, be transported by ambulance to the Tel Aviv airport, obtain a wheelchair, and transfer me from wheelchair to airplane seat. He stayed with me throughout the change of plane and stop over in Newark, the plane ride to Sarasota, and the ambulance transport to Sarasota Memorial Hospital.
 
Lisa reinforced my opinion that interest based negotiation and mediation are effective tools for dispute resolution. I initially had concluded that the insurance company was a scam due to the complete lack of response and was ready to fight. I had contacted my own personal  lawyer back in Buffalo from my Tel Aviv hospital bed and asked him to run a global check to see if the company was legitimate. Before he had a chance to do so, my daughters were able to establish a very friendly relationship with a wonderful representative of the insurance company. They all worked together for days to ensure that I was able to fly home safely. At present, we are still sorting out all of the medical bills with Medicare, my supplemental health insurance plan, and my travel insurance plan.
 
I spent two weeks at Sarasota Memorial Hospital as I slowly began rehabilitation. Now,  two months  after my fall in Jerusalem, I am walking with an appreciated sense of freedom which disability inhibits. So, I marvel at those who struggle to overcome greater disabilities. We must do all that we can to help to enable everyone who is physically or mentally impaired to cope and to succeed in our complex society.
 
A final word. I am appreciative of Stuart staying with me at the clinic, my daughter Samantha’s in-laws, Yossi and Netta Kantor, who guided me through Israel’s medical systems, and my colleagues and friends who visited regularly. My wife, Susan, kept up my spirits with her love and devotion.  And our children and grandchildren’s love touched my soul.