My friend and mentor Virginia Colin, Ph.D., has written The Guide to Low-Cost Divorce in Virginia, a must have book for anyone who lives in the state and is contemplating separation and divorce. The book gives the reader the basic steps and a general overview of the divorce process in the state. It dispenses practical advice on how to keep costs down, take care of yourself, help your children thrive, obtain legal counsel when necessary, and develop a parenting plan. The book also discusses temporary and long term spousal support and child support. I first met Virginia when I was looking for a family mediator to mentor me as part of the Virginia Supreme Court requirements to observe, and then co-mediate, a number of family cases in order to obtain family mediator certification. Virginia is an experienced family mediator and is the founder of Colin Family Mediation Group. She has assembled an extremely talented group of mediators who help families work through the issues that are affecting them. Virginia was a brilliant mentor, and I learned so much from observing a case she mediated, and then co-mediating numerous sessions of another case with her that involved post-divorce issues. Virginia is excellent at identifying all of the issues that are at play, understanding each party’s perspective, and creating a warm, safe environment where each party feels comfortable discussing -- and resolving -- very personal matters. Virginia wears many professional hats. She is a radio talk show host at VoiceAmerica and regularly discusses challenges facing today’s families and how to help families in addressing those challenges. She also excels at bringing people together. She is a founding member of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators (APFM) and recently, as co-chair, played a leading role in organizing an outstanding international APFM conference. Virginia is a leader and a true visionary in the field of mediation. It is my privilege and my honor to know her, and I am continually looking for opportunities where we can work together again!l
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Mediation typically does not get much attention. People often think I am a mediTATOR, not a mediATOR. Others have no idea what a mediator does. I have to admit that, even as a law student years ago, I wasn't exactly sure what mediation was all about. Take a look at the December, 2015 cover story of Northern Virginia magazine at http://www.northernvirginiamag.com/how-to-have-a-successful-divorce/. The article is entitled "'Til Divorce Do Us Part". It examines many aspects of how to have a successful divorce. I was really pleased to see that the article praised my work as a mediator and addressed, in pertinent part, the benefits of using mediation. One of my former clients, and a former client of my friends Virginia Colin and Rick Schapira of Colin Family Mediation Group, discussed her experience first with lawyers: "During the two years of negotiations, the situation spun out of control. We didn't think we had a lot to argue about, but the process turned our lives upside down...I was so stressed. I didn't know it could be much more civil." My former client went on to say that she felt much more comfortable with the mediation process and working with Rick and me, two neutral mediators. As a point of clarification, Rick and I both happen to be lawyers but we currently practice as mediators. We do not give legal advice during the mediation process. As a mediator, my top priority is always making sure that I am creating an atmosphere in which the parties feel comfortable and safe in discussing and resolving conflict. My client concluded her story by saying that the collaborative work she and her ex-husband did in mediation has helped them to co-parent more successfully. "Now things are good. We socialize {and} attend our kids' school events. We got a chance to talk and be heard, ask for what was important to us and fight for what we wanted amongst ourselves. I can't say enough about how much we appreciate {our mediators}." |
AuthorEllice Halpern, J.D., is a Virginia Supreme Court certified general and family mediator. Archives
October 2024
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