Getting Your Gratitude On

I asked my friend, poet, and colleague Laura McCarty to guest blog about gratitude this month:

The mediation process, while leaps and bounds more amicable than arbitration or litigation, can still be emotionally-charged. Change can stir up feelings of loss, anguish and grief. Moving away from those feelings sometimes takes more effort than we feel possible. But shifting your attitude is easier than you think. With a daily ritual that can take less than five minutes, your mindset can transition from a place of loss to one of abundance. It’s as easy as saying thank you. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude or being thankful for what we have in our lives can lead to greater happiness and overall better health. The simple act of showing gratitude can become your own source of healing and empower you. So don’t delay. Harness that power and all the abundance within you to make the changes happening in your life work for you.  
 
Here are some tips to getting your gratitude on:

• Start with yourself. As the saying goes…Put your own oxygen mask on first. Self-care and self-love are essential to growth and success. Write a list of your assets, strengths and skills. Now read that list, take a deep breath, and acknowledge all the greatness within you.

 

• Find one thing, person or place to be grateful for.  Say thank you. It’s easiest to start small. Look around you. You might be thankful for your child, parent, friend, or dog. You can be thankful for the air you breathe, the water you drink, the home you live in, the vacation you went on last year, or your favorite bakery. Before you know it, your gratitude list will be longer than you ever imagined.

 

• Say it until you mean it. It’s easy to be grateful for people, places and things you love. As you get used to saying thank you and showing gratitude, try expanding your gratitude bubble to include people you don’t know. Perhaps you can be thankful for the person who paved your street or the farmer who grew the arugula you eat. When saying thank you aloud or quietly to yourself becomes easy, try finding appreciation for even those who may have hurt you. This exercise is not about absolving someone from guilt or giving in to someone who caused you pain. Instead, this practice allows you to recognize that sometimes the most difficult people to be grateful for are the ones who have taught you the most.

 

• Set time aside in your day to show gratitude.  My motto is “Practice makes things easier.” If possible, take a minute or two in the mornings before you start your day to record what you are thankful for. During my divorce, I found that keeping a gratitude journal for 30 days was life-changing. My perspective changed, my beliefs shifted and my life transformed for the better. Keeping a journal allows me to reflect back on who and what has made an impact on my life, particularly during difficult times. Whether I remember to write in my journal or not, I always go to bed and wake up with a long list of people and things to be grateful for.

 

• Don’t be a martyr.  Regardless of whether you have a wonderful car, home, job, or wardrobe, sometimes you may want to treat yourself to something new. Enjoy that freedom and don’t feel obliged to be happy with what you have all the time. If something is within your budget – and by budget I mean not only your financial budget but your time and emotional budgets as well – splurge a little and be thankful that you can.

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Guest blogger Laura McCarty is pictured in Glacier National Park on the Grinnell Glacier trail. Laura lives, writes and teaches yoga in Arlington, Virginia. She's grateful for her two inspiring daughters, her dog Ginger, her huge circle of friends, and more people, places and things she can list here.